Goodbye, Sucker.

Well, out with the old. In with the new. As I've stated elsewhere, if the hope President Obama brings to the nation and the White House is repaid at even 5%, we'll be in good shape in 4 years.

Meanwhile, thanks to David Rees, author of the now-discontinued "Get Your War On" comic, I offer these key phrases from the Financial Times final editorial on George Bush:

“Executive hubris”
“Imperial overreach”
“Epic incompetence”
“Preternatural ebullience”
“Fathomless lack of curiosity”
“Disdain for empirical reality”
“Most fiscally incontinent (!!!) of presidents”
“Terribly wrong”

Oh, they are so right. Goodbye, jerk. I hope your life in Texas is a miserable one.

Curse You, Pinewood Derby.

This is my son's second year in Cub Scouts. He's not all that into it. Neither am I. I never was a scout, and one of my brothers was, but only for a short time. Anyway, today's scouting just doesn't seem like the scouting I seem to recall from -- gulp -- decades ago. Where's the outdoors? Where's the skills-development? Where's the casualness?

Well, I get the feeling it's all gone the way of the Dodo. Like most other activities for children these days, it is designed only to reward those who can give it 100% of their already over-scheduled time. Go here, do this, take this seminar, be at that meeting, drag your kid out into the cold for a lame-ass gathering at 7 p.m. that consists mostly of rowdy, un-supervised children with fewer manners than a rabid wolverine.

I complain too much.

Nevertheless, I threw myself (for a moment) into the carving of a nice Pinewood Derby racer. Yes, threw myself into it. Even busted out my 13 year old carving knives. And all was going great.

Until I carved halfway into my index finger with a nice, sharp knife. For a while I worried about permanent nerve damage or whether I needed stitches. I probably do, really, but am trying to avoid an ER trip. Band-aids will do.

The Pinewood Derby racecar has become a Pinewood Derby station wagon.

Suh-weet!

I Have My Doubts

The knuckleheads at Planters Nuts have some 'splainin' to do.

Less than 50% peanutes? I heartily disagree. Unless these sneaky bastards have discovered another small nut that tastes just like a peanut but that isn't actually a peanut.

If they keep up with these lies, I'll be forced to get scientific on their asses!

Two Public Faces

Our world (well, the United States, at least) seems to have settled upon two public faces for itself. I noticed this this morning and started thinking about it. A little.

Face Number One: Mall face. Also known as George Bush Face. The slack-jawed, glazed-eye, had-to-much-to-shop-last-night face that is most commonly found at your nearest indoor recreation center (i.e. shopping mall). It's the look that says, "I inhaled too much Yankee Candle." The look that says, "Too much PacSun music." The look that says, "Somewhere I have three brain cells functioning to decide if I need to upgrade my cellphone or my cellphone plan." The look that says, "Yes, Victoria's Secret is the answer, not the gym." The look that says, "I eat a diverse diet of Sbarro, Panda Wok, Au Bon Pain, and Popeyes. I am healthy."

Click once if you think you've seen this look.

Face Number Two: Angry Face. Also known as "White Guy in Oversized Pickup" Face (seen in your rearview mirror as he rushes to no place important with nothing in the cargo box and nothing in tow). It's the look I see on most women when they're talking on their cellphones whilst driving. The look I see on the guy in the electronics section at Wal-Mart on those two occasions each year when I find myself in that god-foresaken place. Other places you'll commonly see angry face? Children's soccer matches (on the parents). NFL fans come Sunday. People waiting in line -- just about anywhere. Poltiticians not kissing babies.

Click twice if you think you've seen this look.

After realizing that clicking does nothing, you'll find one of these two looks on your own face. Now wipe it off, go outside, and present a different face to the world. As the old saying goes, "Smile, and other people will think you're up to something." I'm not all for smiles and happiness and light, but something different seems in order.

Some Things Considered

Every once in a while it's nice to read something positive. It happens so rarely. The following snippet, via BoingBoing, holds some promise, although I am sure the "good" news contained in the complete article is tempered more than just a little bit by continuing hard and dire facts about the environment. To wit. . .

Sea ice area returns to 1979 level

"Based on satellite observations, the University of Illinois' Arctic Climate Research Center reports that the amount of sea ice on the planet is the highest in 29 years, when satellite record-keeping began.

"Earlier this year, predictions were rife that the North Pole could melt entirely in 2008. Instead, the Arctic ice saw a substantial recovery. Bill Chapman, a researcher with the UIUC's Arctic Center, tells DailyTech this was due in part to colder temperatures in the region. Chapman says wind patterns have also been weaker this year. Strong winds can slow ice formation as well as forcing ice into warmer waters where it will melt."

BoingBoing is one of the first sites I hit in the morning when I am cruising the intertubes. I highly recommend it as a clearinghouse of awesome, odd, exciting, insightful, and delightful news and observations. Not like BoingBoing is home to only the good news. There's always something negative to remind you taht there's a real world out there. In fact, I'd say there's an even balance of the good and the bad. Their coverage of bloggers and blogging inside authoritarian states is always top-notch, as is Cory Doctorow's updates regarding web privacy and worldwide copyright battles, among other stuff. I can't do the site justice here, but a quick peruse by you, the reader, will reveal what I'm talking about.

New Year, New You (meaning: Me)

So let's get this straight. I'll be 41 this year. About three and a half months ago, for the first time in my life, I began giving a damn about my health and physical well-being. With a seven year old, a four year old, and a two year old, it was about high time. And since then, by going to the gym on average three days a week, I have lost over twenty pounds. Probably more, but I wasn't all that worried about exact numbers when I started.

Anyway, my plan is for 2009 to be about a number of things. One of them is my physical health and well-being. The other thing is that I need to write more. My novel, "Marvel and Twain," has been stalled for a while around the 120 page mark, and so I have also decided that 2009 is to be the year I get the first draft done, and the second or third or fourth draft underway. Plus, writing, revising, and submitting a raft of short stories, completed or underway.

Also, I intend to be a more mindful and sympathetic parent, as well as a more rewarding spouse.

Finally, it's a year to pay down debt and get the financial house in order.

So, as a means of getting some of these things accomplished, I thought that paying more attention to the Existential Cheerleading blog would be a smart thing. Here's a place where I can keep track of my progress, perhaps keep myself more accountable, and maybe the blog will grow into something that matters.

Best of luck to us all. The world teeters on the brink moreso than ever before (thanks, G.W.! You were awesome, for a complete jackass!), and focusing on myself can seem foolhardy, if not downright conceited, but it all begins right here.

See you next time.